Hi everyone, it’s been a while since my last update! A lot of late nights and early mornings have kept me from updating you all, but alas, I am back! I had most of this entry written already, but due to connection issue lost the first draft, which is annoying, but such is life. I will be recapping the days into one mega post because I need to keep y’all updated!
Day 8 - “The day of the Wedding”
Today was the day of the wedding. It was due to start at 3pm, which meant I still had the whole morning to saunter through the old town of Antigua. Equipped with my subpar Duolingo Spanish and a growling stomach, I set off to find a place to serve me breakfast.
The first day in Antigua, we found a trendy coffee shop to sample the local drink, but after browsing the menu, I noticed that I had no clue what exactly I was reading about. Not to impact the growing line waiting impatiently behind me, I settled on something that sounded vaguely familiar, but could not place exactly was familiar about it. Was it a type of bean? Brewing process? Single origin? Whatever, it was morning and I ordered a coffee.
To my surprise I was served two scoops of vanilla ice cream and an espresso shot. Not really the morning coffee I was expecting. In my mind, I thought to have believed I had ordered the current trending coffee, which is a coffee brewed fresh over a bar of chocolate to create a fancy coffee mocha. It’s all the rave on social media at the moment, but this was far from it. Turns out, an Affogato is just a hipster excuse to have ice cream and a coffee whilst sounding sophisticated. Hm.
Not wanting to let the past experience influence my future, I set off to find a new restaurant to serve me a hearty Guatemalan breakfast.
It wasn’t long until I found a coffee shop which looked promising. A quick glance at the menu did in fact confirm that I still couldn’t comprehend Spanish and the menu definitely wasn’t in English. After stalling the waiter by ordering a Cafe Latte (thank god he didn’t ask what kind of milk I would like to have), I chose something that looked promising. It contained huevo - eggs, good… and something Brioche? A bun? Definitely the bread type. Ok. Bread and eggs, maybe some kind of savory sandwich. Just what I was looking for.
After sitting down on a vacant seat and enjoying a few sips of my coffee my “dish” arrived. My savory brioche egg sandwich was not savory at all.
Turns out, I ordered a. French toast. A. FRENCH. TOAST. IN. GUATEMALA. No wonder the waiter looked at me with a crooked eyebrow when reading the order back to me. I just thought he was surprised that a Gringo orders such a hearty Guatemalan breakfast, but turns out we were just sharing the surprise.
I am currently 2/2 for choosing desserts for breakfast. Great.
After needing to add an extra 7000 steps to offset the caloric intake of my mistake, I set off to zig-zag through the town before heading back to freshen up for the wedding.
Donning my best James Bond suit and thirst for (Espresso) Martini’s, I head off towards the venue, which was a few minutes walk from my hotel. In an unfortunate set of events, Mr. Murphy and his infamous law decided to make an entrance and part the heavens by blessing us with the lightest of showers.
As the guests slowly started to arrive, it was clear that the outdoor venue needed to dry off before the ceremony started. Without much deliberation, we collectively decided to wait out the time in the adjacent hotel bar.
The poor soul behind the bar must have gotten the shock of his life as a wall of thirsty travelers descended upon his workspace and by the time we were finished, he had called for 5 more people for backup.
An hour later, the ceremony commenced. It was a nice an intimate ceremony, full of laughs, initial stages of nervousness and tears of happiness. Then… the buffet was opened, the drinks flowed and the dance floor was ceremoniously inaugurated.
Day 8 - “We’re taking the Hobbits to… Antigua?”
The next and final day in Guatemala, we decided to saunter outside of the high-walled Antigua and explore the surrounding areas. The best way we decided, was to rent a tourguide and some four-wheeled ATV’s. Donning our helmets we headed on the cobbled stone roads towards the hills.
Trivia: What does Antigua and New Zealand have in common?
Is it the luscious vegetation? The rolling green hills surrounding the valley?
What if I told you that they both have a…hobbit shire. Que?
Yes, you read that right. Guatemala has a village based on the J.R.R. Tolkien books.
Some years ago, someone decided to build a little hobbit house in the mountains, overlooking the valley. Over many years, more parts got added to it to become it’s own little shire. Now equipped with a restaurant, bar and other attractions such as rope swings and minigolf. Just as it was written by J.R.R. Tolkien all those years ago.
The scenery was absolutely stunning, as the whole village was overlooking a beautiful valley donned by coffee plantations. We also arrive at the perfect time, as the sun bathed the scenery into a lovely light, before the mist took over.
The whole area is surrounded by trees and it never once felt like this area was created as a tourist trap. Everything was lovingly made and fit perfectly into the scenery. It was if one was transported into the books. Ok, maybe the guy hired to play Gandalf that stood around on top of a building waving at people all day was a bit cheesy, but otherwise it was pristine.
The Hobbit shire, or as they call it Hobbitenago has become something of a local tourist attraction, as many locals visit the mountain to spend a few hours enjoying the walks, food and the kids activities, such as archery and the aforementioned minigolf.
Once the rolling mist engulfed the village and the temperatures dropped, we decided that the best course of action was to sample the local artisanal hot chocolate. And boy, was it good! Especially with the view!
On the way back, we grabbed some dinner at a local restaurant, still situated in the mountains. The view overlooked a neighboring city and the local active volcano named “Fuego”. Occasionally we could see the lava eruptions whilst we were eating our meals.
We finished our tour, parked our ATV and decided to head to a bar to have a proper send off, as it was sadly our last day in Antigua.
Our flight was scheduled for 8:30 in the morning, which meant our organized shuttle service would pick us up at 4am at the hotel. Since I don’t do short naps without risking missing an alarm clock and thereby jeopardizing my exit of the country, I had the brilliant idea to just stay awake. With the help of the local bar scene of course.
We tasted the local beers, got to know the owner of said speakeasy from the first night and sampled the exquisite selection of Guatemalan rum and other local liquid delicacies. From an adaptation from an old fashioned with Antiguan chocolate, to other drinks, we sampled our way through the country and history.
We were encouraged to try the only Guatemalan cocktail submitted to a cocktail championship (or so I remember, my mind is a bit hazy at this point), which used ingredients such as powdered sunflower seeds and an array of other local(?) liquors.
The cocktail was named Kame, and it was seriously the best cocktail I have ever had to date. So I had two.
I have included the recipe below if anyone is ever interested to recreate cocktail, if you are able to procure the ingredients :)
As the bars shut down at midnight, I made it back home to the hotel. I had only three and a half hours to go. My bags were already packed, with only the basic necessities needing to be stowed before leaving, so I had ample time to kill.
I decided to lie in bed and flip through the TV channels and landed on a Spanish dubbed version of Scooby Doo.
Then…
Day #%#% - “Hasta Luego Guatemala”
…I woke up from the sound of Dora the Explorer shouting something on TV. I must have dozed off, which was strange.
As I went to the bathroom I checked my watch. It was still set to LA time, so it read 2:09am. A cursory glance at the mirror as my brain tried to remember to add 2 hours to the clock to get GUA time…OHSHIT.
Checking my phone, I had a few missed calls from my buddy sharing the ride to the airport wondering where I was. Of course modern phones have do not disturb sleep functions, so straight to voicemail they went.
After a hasty “Be right there!” reply, I threw all the remaining items into my bags and departed.
Sleep deprived, I made it to the airport. Sleep deprived, I made it through check-in, immigration and eventually on the flight.
Sleep deprived I arrived in LAX, where I went to collect my bags and headed to my friends place in Hollywood where I had the rest of my luggage stashed.
I was functioning on maybe 4 hours of cumulative sleep, so I really didn’t do anything on this day. No pictures, just pain.
I did however met up with the bride and groom at midnight as they collected me to take me to their place in Ventura.
Fun times ahead. And sleep recovery.